& a m p e r s a n d

I’m weird cause I hate goodbyes.

Reality struck me hard this evening, when I realized that things will not be the same anymore. This train of life I’m boarding is moving fast, and the signs of an ending and a new beginning have appeared.

My loyal driver, Om John, resigned from his position, because of several personal reasons. My SAT teacher and my lifetime inspiration, Mr. Karim, is also permanently replaced by an unknown Canadian teacher. My brother, Wisnu Raditya, moved out from this house to Jakarta because he finally got accepted in Kompas Gramedia Group. Today is the second day of his job, and I miss him so much already.

I always took this three people for granted. Om John has been around since I started high school, and he witnessed some of the most important moments in my life: laughter, tears, cuddles, break-ups, mental breakdowns, gossips, and so much more. He was just there, driving me around all day, and I don’t even know his full name until now. I shouted at him on the phone if he was late to pick me up, but he never shouted if I was late to give him some lunch money. I suddenly feel bad.

The pain is twice as big if I think about Mr. Karim. Anyone who has been taught by him must agree with me that he is a never ending source of inspiration. Words came out through his mouth like precious pearls. We talked a lot, about love, life, and even God. However, I still do not know him more personally. I wish that I could spend more time with him, not only for a year.

As for my brother, we were never close. Our most intimate conversation would probably be about gadgets, or Steve Jobs’ death. I never inquire about his personal life, I fully respect his privacy, and so does he. Now that his bedroom is empty, and I’m all alone in my bedroom; his presence, his laughter when he watch Running Man, and his habit to play music very loudly are dearly missed.

We don’t know what we got until they’re gone.

Good luck with your new lives, Om John, Mr. Karim, and Wisnu!